Saturday, December 31, 2011


I've spent the morning lounging around my good friend's apartment in Philly, chatting with her and her boyfriend about education, philosophy, and superpowers.  Our minds work similarly and I could not be more comfortable, and the part me that recognizes these facts dreads going to the airport in 36 hours.

In the past 10 months, I have missed the ease of living within the culture I was raised, the high probability that I will find many ways in which I can instantly relate with those around me. I've missed having the option to be invisible if I want to be, missed being able to walk down the street without anyone staring at me.  I've missed not constantly worrying about whether what I'm doing is culturally appropriate.  I almost forgot what it was like to not have to judge every plan of mine in terms of its potential for sustainability.  I've missed having clean feet, missed washing machines and hot showers, missed cheese and boneless chicken breasts.  I've missed bagels and pizza and the beach, just like the Long Island girl I claim not to be.    I've missed my adventurous, pretentious, brilliant, honest and funny friends. I've missed my loud, loving, bickering, wonderful family.

Will it be hard to go back? Maybe.  But a few minutes ago I looked out the window and commented on how early it gets dark here in the higher latitudes.  I said, "Back home, it never gets dark before six." And then I caught myself--back home.  Guyana is home.  St. Cuthbert's Mission is home, Wendy and Benji's house is home.  A part of me dreads getting on that plane, but a far bigger part of me can't wait to get home and surprise the people who have taken such good care of me over the past 10 months with American gifts.  I can't wait to see how big my puppies have gotten and find them homes.  I can't wait to start a few projects on my massive list of project ideas, fail though they may.  I can't wait to lay in my hammock on my veranda and watch the sun set, can't wait to have a Banks beer or two with friends and share with them how refreshing my trip to the U.S. was, and how happy I am to be back.